Baby

As I hope you know by now, we will be welcoming another baby into our family in April. Griffin knows there’s a baby growing in my tummy, but it’s still a little abstract for him (it kind of is for me, too, for that matter). He’s heard the heartbeat at the doctor’s office a couple of times, and since then, he enjoys laying on my chest and listening to my heartbeat. It’s a sweet snuggle time for us. I have a pregnancy book next to my bed that he likes to page through to look at the illustrations and ask, “What’s that baby doin’?” to which the answer is usually, “Well, that baby’s getting bigger and waiting to be born.” We’ve talked about umbilical cords and belly buttons, and how he grew in my tummy and I had to go to the hospital to give birth to him, how he took his first breath of air and cried and cried, and how he hasn’t always had words, or been able to walk and jump. He’s seen pictures of himself as a baby, but I don’t think he’s made that much of a connection until today, when we spent about 20 minutes watching videos of him as an infant. He was absolutely fascinated, and admittedly, so was I. The earliest one I easily found was of him rolling over, and he requested to watch it at least eight times. Each time, I marveled at how very, very much he has developed in two and a half years. I see who he is now in those videos of him as an infant; he has the same laugh and expressions, and I feel like I have a better sense of what he may have been thinking then. But most of all, it made me so grateful to have this kid in my life who delights me and frustrates me and makes me laugh and cry and overall, makes me a better person (even though his behavior pushes me into my own tantrums some days). What a miracle it is that this child, who came into the world completely helpless, now zooms on his bike down the sidewalk “like a rocketship!”, recognizes letters and numbers, sings songs, and does many, many things “all by myself.” I think it was a gift to both of us to take the time to sit and watch those videos today; it deepened both of our understandings of who Griffin has become, and I think today, I really needed that.