Dear Mom,

Daddy’s new laptop is pretty cool.  Please don’t tell him that I snuck out of my crib last night to borrow it.  I only chewed on it a little bit, and I had to write you this message.

Happy birthday!  I can’t really comprehend how old you are, but you’re probably at least 18 or 19 months.

You’ve been a pretty good mom during these first nine months.  (I’m practicing my midwestern understatement… Dad would say you’ve been “dreamy” or “incredible” or “frickin awesome.”)  Plus, I’m told you were taking good care of me for the previous nine months too.  (I like my new, roomier crib better.)

In any event, before Dad catches me drooling on his precious keyboard, I wanted to mention a few specifics.  Thank you for forgiving me when I smashed your beloved french press.  (You have to admit it sounded pretty great when it exploded!)  Thank you for taking me swimming every week at the Y.  And storytime at the library… that’s the best!  Thank you for taking me canoeing, camping, and hiking in my first four months.  The other kids never believe me when I tell them that I’ve already hiked part of the Pacific Crest Trail (but I got pictures to prove it).  Thank you for accepting my bizarre culinary tastes (pickles and oatmeal, yum!) and not getting too upset when I throw all the food on the floor.  (Daddy told me that in high school he used to fling pudding onto the ceiling of the dining room… so I’m just honoring my heritage.)  Thank you for having the most humongous library of kids’ books in the universe.  I’ve tasted most of them and they are delicious.  Thank you for comforting me when I’m hurt but reminding me that I can handle most bumps and bruises.

Thank you for reminding me to save my big moments for when Daddy’s around.  I gotta remember to save my first steps for him.  (Maybe we can fake it if I forget?)  Speaking of Daddy, you can let him know that I think it’s pretty nifty that you both laugh so much and have so much fun.  I am, occasionally, embarrassed by your juvenile senses of humor, but I cut you some slack because you’re both so old.

All in all, you’re a pretty cool mom.

Love,

Griffin