Maiden Voyage of the Artemis

Have you ever dreamed of being an officer on the bridge of a real starship? Now’s your chance! We will be testing out a sophisticated software program, the Artemis Spaceship Bridge Simulator. With this software, each of you can choose a particular job: Captain, Helm, Science, Communication, Engineering, and Weapon Control. Together you will operate your ship and defend the sector from evil aliens. This activity requires your laptop, the ability to work as a team, and a desire to save the galaxy. For our first starship this spring, we can only handle a small crew. If our mission is successful, we’ll sign up more officers next year!

So reads the description of my spring activity offering at school. For those that don’t know, Artemis is a computer game that basically recreates the bridge from the Star Trek enterprise. (It doesn’t have a Star Trek license, though, so the ship is called the Artemis, and you fight Kraliens rather than the other aliens that start with K.) It works best in a classroom or office with a large monitor or projection screen to act as the viewing screen at the front of the bridge. A series of networked laptops connect as different stations on the bridge. The Helm, for example, has controls to steer the ship. Weapons controls phasers and torpedos. Science can scan objects in nearby space and provide information (weaknesses for enemies, possible resources, etc.) Engineering manages ship resources, and can overcharge certain systems at the cost of other systems and at the risk of overheating. The engineer also directs damage control teams who can repair compromised systems.

“I’m giving it all she’s got, Captain!”

The communications officer sends and receives messages from space stations, allied ships, and enemies. Finally, the captain doesn’t have a computer at all. She sits in a chair in the middle and orchestrates all of it. (If you’re interested, check out this lively and not-school-appropriate video of the game being played.)

So, yeah, it’s basically my Star Trek boyhood fantasy.

But it’s also a brilliant software package for middle school because it requires discipline, cooperation, and strategic thinking, skills that were almost entirely lacking during our first misadventure.

On Tuesday a dozen students gathered in my classroom for their first mission. We spent some time installing the software, deciding which station each person would play and who would be their second. (There are only six stations, so one primary player and an apprentice at each station.) Then we launched the server and configured it for a peacetime mission so that we could learn how to use our new starship.

So far, so good. Then I discovered what happens when you set a group of 10-13 year olds loose on the command deck of a state-of-the-art spacecraft. Anarchy! Everybody gleefully pushing buttons at once without reading any of the documentation. Shouts from every person in the room with conflicting reports, questions, orders, and requests. It was awesome. In short order, the ship was traveling at its highest possible speed off the edge of the map into interstellar space. Unfortunately, the helmsman couldn’t manage to steer. Everyone thought this was very amusing, except that they kept getting distress calls from a space station that was rapidly receding behind them. And when other people tried to steer, they couldn’t manage it either. The session ended with everyone thinking it was some sort of bug in the software.

Screenshot of the engineering interface. The sliders at the bottom allow you to shunt power to and from different ship systems, which can dramatically affect game play.
Screenshot of the engineering interface. The sliders at the bottom allow you to shunt power to and from different ship systems, which can dramatically affect game play.

I did some research afterwards and discovered that no, it was not a glitch. The engineers, in fact, had reduced power to the maneuvering drives which meant that the ship couldn’t, um, maneuver. (In their defense, they claim that the captain told them to maximize power to the warp drives… so they did exactly that.)

I sent an in-character email to the entire crew that afternoon, explaining what the engineering team at DS4 had discovered. After some frantic finger-pointing, they were all a bit sheepish, and are hoping to do better next time. They even agreed to watch a short set of training videos which will help them understand what, for example, a maneuvering drive does.

We have five more sessions lined up. I am hopeful that the crew will pull together so that we can actually, you know, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and boldly go where no middle schooler has gone before…

Artemis Screenshot

 

Joint Birthday Party

Griffin and Maggie, turning seven and four respectively, agreed to have a joint birthday party this year. Each of them invited seven friends, and we all gathered at a local park for cupcakes and fun. It was a gorgeous day, and the whole event felt unusually relaxed. The kids rampaged around while the adults chatted, kept nominal watch, and guarded the cupcakes (my strategy: eat them).

Space Science

For years we have despaired that our children would grow up to be shiftless, unmotivated drones. Fortunately, for at least the past six months, they have settled onto a pair of robust dreams for the future. Maggie will be an astronaut. Griffin, who is less excited about the discomforts of space travel, will be a space scientist, staying on the ground but helping Maggie with her experiments.

Maggie, future astronaut.
Future astronaut.
Future space scientist.
Future space scientist.

Clever Fool

Griffin got me with two April Fool’s Day jokes already this morning: he told me he made me some brownies for a treat (which turned out to be brown E’s) and he handed me a shoe box and said he got me a new pair (which turned out to be a pear)! He was so delighted with himself, and so was I!

April Fool's!
April Fool’s!
And a third surprise: googly eyes!
And a third surprise: googly eyes!

Rules

Maggie: I’m just too tired to put my puzzles away….Can I help with making pancakes?
Daddy: If you’re too tired for puzzles, you’re too tired for helping with pancakes.
Maggie: But I’m just so so so tired for puzzles, Daddy.
Daddy: If you’re too tired to put your things away, you’re too tired to help me.
Maggie: But see, I have different rules than you guys do!

What our Children Know About Us

We recently came across these interview questions on Facebook. Seemed like a fun thing to do. We first three interviews in January, but Maggie wasn’t interested in answering the daddy questions back then. She grudgingly agreed to give it a go during spring break, on March 23.

Mama
Daddy
Griffin Maggie Griffin Maggie
What is something I always say to you? Stop. Clean up. When I say, “Do you want to play a game,” you say, “Yeah, sure.” I don’t know.
What makes me happy?
When I do stuff for you. Clean up. When I play with you. Saying, “Please can you play with me?”
What makes me sad? When I mess up the house. When I accidentally break something. When I mess up the house. When me and Griffin do bad things. Like break glass.
How do I make you laugh? By tickling me! We sing silly things! By tickling me! By saying funny things.
What was I like as a child? Mischief! I don’t know! You didn’t have a CD player. Shrug.
How old am I? 39 I don’t know. 44 I forgot. Twenty? No. Not twenty. Twenty-four? No. Are you twenty-four?
How tall am I? I don’t know! REALLY tall! I didn’t measure you. I’m guessing it might be like four feet, maybe, no… five feet. Super tall!
What is my favorite thing to do? Play with me! Watch TV! Play with me. Play!
What do I do when you’re not around?
Go to the store.
Work.
Go to school.
Do computer work.
What am I really good at? Typing on the computer. Clean up with me.
Making pannakukken.
Shrug.
What is something I’m not good at? Going under your bed.
Not cleaning up.
Reading Chinese.
I don’t know.
What do I do for a job? Take care of Maggie. Something. Go to work.
To clean up dinner. To clean up the dishes.
What is my favorite food?
Cheese kabook… what is that thing? You know that thing that Grandma and Grandpa make with cheese or apples? [Strudel] I don’t know! Pannakukken. Sausage! Or raspberries.
What do you enjoy doing with me? Playing Mille Bornes! Playing! Playing Rat-A-Tat-Cat. Play! Frozen spot-it.

Future Career in Medicine

We have an old twin-sized futon—the ultra-basic variety with the unfinished pine base that folds, awkwardly, into a chair. Though it has been useful over the years, it doesn’t get a lot of love. In return, it has become increasingly lumpy and shabby looking. Sarah and I generally ignore it, keeping it around for rare times when we are brimming with house guests. The kids, however, see it as a multi-purpose device: trampoline, hurdle, and the floor, wall, or roof for their many ephemeral fort designs.

Said futon recently sprung a leak, spewing forth tiny bits of foam (the foam core is surrounded by a nimbus of smaller chunks, ergo the lumpiness). Sarah applied a duct tape bandage, but the kids regularly defeat this measure with a single good leap.

This morning, Sarah and I found the futon blocking the basement hallway with a spray of foam guts on the carpet. We asked the kids to clean up the mess, and reminded them that the poor futon is off limits until we come up with a hardier solution. Some time later, I returned to the basement and found that Griffin had filled an entire trash can with foam bits, vastly more than what we had seen on the carpet before. With sinking heart, I inquired as to what was going on. Griffin proudly said that he was making sure that no more would leak out again, at which point he reached into the growing wound and extracted another armload of foam.

As I groaned at the plight of the poor, eviscerated futon, Maggie squealed, “More, Griffin, MORE!”

Doctor of Internal Medicine
Doctor of Internal Medicine

Focus

It was almost bedtime last night and I urged Maggie to get out of the stroller so we could go inside. Unbeknownst to me, she was engaged in some sort of important task (zipping something, unzipping something, fixing a wrinkled sock, etc.) Maggie’s exasperated response:

“Daddy, you unfocused me!”

Maggie’s First Clay Sculpture

Sarah's Clay Head

Apparently this is me trying to lick a dolphin (for real). But seriously, I can’t say enough about our art classes at Art with Ellen! Ellen is an amazing teacher with attention to detail specific to the age group she’s working with. Maggie is a reluctant artist in the sense that she often feels like she’s “doing it wrong.” Ellen brings so much enthusiasm and positive guidance, Maggie has been flourishing. Thank you to Grummy for this gift of classes! We’ve both been thoroughly enjoying them.

The latest news from Sarah and Andrew.