Conversation at lunch today
Griffin: “Daddy, you’re the king, and I’m the prince, and Maggie’s the…whore.”
<Mama and Daddy look at each other, not knowing whether to laugh or cry>
Mama: “What is Maggie again?”
Griffin: “She drills holes. The Hole-er.”
Mama and Daddy: “Ooooohhhhhh….”

—

We have been promising Griffin ice cream from an ice cream truck for days, but one hasn’t crossed our path yet. Tonight, after returning from 3 hours at an outdoor pool, Griffin asked for ice cream from an ice cream truck again on the way home. Of course, we didn’t see one and once we pulled into the garage, crying ensued. After he had gained his composure, he started at it again and sobbed,
“We never should have gone to the pool!”
“Why not, honey?”
“Because it reminded me of the ice cream truck!!!”
“How did it remind you of the ice cream truck?”
“BECAUSE IT WAS FUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!” <SOBBBBBBBB>

—

Me: “I’m going to sell you to the zoo today!”
G: “Why?”
Me: “Because you’re acting like a monkey!”
G: “Are you kidding?”
Me: “Yes, I’m kidding.”
G: “But you still kinda want to do it, huh?”

—

Overheard in the garden(in addition to giggling under the cover of the bean pole teepee):
“Wow! These beans are wonderful!”
“Hmm, I wonder what Maggie is investigating over there?”
“Hey MOM! We’re investigating a bee pollinating a flower!”
“Wow! Look at the size of that green pepper! It is almost big enough!”

—

Griffin: “I really had to pee so badly that it got on the potty seat, but I used one of the wet wipes that makes it sparkly clean!!”

—

Me: “Griffin, I thought you just went potty.”
Griffin: “I did!”
Me: “Well, your body is wiggling around like you have a poop.”
Griffin: “The wind is just singing me a song and I’m dancing!”

“Hey Dad, I really want to play Uno every day.”

“Ok. Sure, let’s play Uno every day.”

“I mean, every day until we die.”

Sarah told a story to Griffin this morning and I overheard this snippet:

Mama: “…and we had a tape recorder—”

Griffin: “What’s a tape recorder?”

Mama: “Ummm, it’s like an iPod.”