This just overheard from the living room:
Maggie: “Griffin! You can’t have that on the couch…Barbarian!”
Tag Archives: Maggie Says
Imminent Death
Maggie will surely die if you don’t come down this instant to eat our breakfast!!!!!
—Text message from Sarah this morning
PS: Yeah, we text each other across the house.
Pairs of Skin
Maggie, after scratching a scab this morning:
Maggie: Luckily I have another pair of skin!
Daddy: What?
M: I had another pair of skin under my scab, so it’s not bleeding.
D: Oh.
M: I have three pairs of skin.
D: Three? Pairs of skin?
M: Yes. If I scratch off one pair, then there’s another pair. If I scratch off that one, then there’s a third pair. But under the third pair is my blood.
Peace and Loudness
Maggie, musing about why she loves the cabin:
I love the cabin.
When we want someone to come out,
we don’t have to go find them…We can just yell!
Amnesia
Conversation this afternoon:
Me: Did Mama talk to you about the rules?
Maggie: Yes!
Me: What were the rules?
Maggie: Um… I forgot. <shrugs> I forget things very quickly.
Young Knight?
Overheard last night before bed:
Sarah: “No, I can’t clean your sword right now. It’s past your bedtime.”
Maggie: “Ok, we’ll clean my sword in the morning.”
(The sword is drying in the dish rack as I write this.)
Young Theologian
I was helping settle Oliver into his crib when Maggie got up to get a drink of water. She got back into bed, then sat up and stated, matter-of-factly, “I don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead.”
“Um… what?”
She repeated herself, enunciating carefully, “I don’t believe that Jesus rose from the dead.”
“Ok honey. Goodnight.”
Vocabulary Lesson
Andrew and I were talking after dinner about my experience with why girls or young women might be sitting on the sidelines of pick-up sports games, and Maggie was seemingly not listening, singing *loudly*, next to us. She kept getting louder, so my voice kept getting louder as we talked. I said, “You know? I just didn’t want to play with guys who were being all macho and major douchebags!”
Without skipping a beat, Maggie yells out, “DOUCHEBAGS! Yeah, they’re douchebags! D O U C H E B A G S!”
Thus we added another word to the, “don’t call anyone this” and “don’t say this outside our house” list.
Doors
Andrew, going nuclear: “If you two don’t knock it off and go to bed, I’m going to take a screwdriver and take that door right off and throw it away.”
<large pause>
Maggie: “You can’t even do that!”
Andrew: “Oh yes I can!”
I’m downstairs giggling even though I shouldn’t be. Giggling, that is.
Quiet Voice
Maggie: MAMA! THESE ARE GIANT BUNNIES AND…
Me (whispers): Can you please use your quiet voice?
Maggie: THESE GIANT BUNNIES…
Me (whispers): Maggie, please use your quiet voice.
Maggie: THIS *IS* MY QUIET VOICE!
Me: 
😳
🙄