Tag Archives: Maggie Says

Trolls

Angell Bridge, beneath which dwells Mrs. Troll
Angell Bridge, beneath which dwells Mrs. Troll

The counselors at Camp du Nord tell stories about an old troll, simply named Mrs. Troll, who lives beneath Angell Bridge. Our campsite lay on the far side of the bridge, so we crossed it many times a day, and we often tried to spot Mrs. Troll. Although we sometimes heard her, we never spotted her. Nevertheless, Mrs. Troll became a major feature of our conversations and quickly became a featured character in our bedtime stories.

I tried not to depart too much from camp canon, beginning with these basic facts:

  • She lives beneath Angell Bridge.
  • She is shy and doesn’t like to be spotted, but is not otherwise unfriendly.
  • She has a shopping bag with a hole in the bottom.
  • She’s not too bright (i.e., never understanding why her shopping bag is always empty when she gets home).
  • She has straggly hair and a stoop.

From this we began spinning tales, and learned many new things about Mrs. Troll, and other characters. For example, she has a secret friend, a clever flying squirrel who keeps an eye on her and helps her overcome her problems. She likes to drink sour milk, but has ever so much trouble getting it home in her shopping bag. She sleeps on a bed of sharp stones, and becomes awfully uncomfortable if any of them get too worn; she hates soft spots, and rolls around causing earthquakes throughout the camp. There are other, less friendly trolls, who live elsewhere in the wilderness around the lake. They are strong and mean, but even Mrs. Troll can outsmart them to protect the camp.

In Norse mythology, the Midgard Serpent is so long that it envelops the world and grasps its own tail in its mouth. If it ever lets go, the world will come apart.
In Norse mythology, the Midgard Serpent is so long that it envelops the world and grasps its own tail in its mouth. If it ever lets go, the world will come apart.

At Maggie’s request, we discovered that there is a Mr. Troll, too — he is a prodigious fishertroll, usually sticking to regular fish, but capable of pulling whales, sea serpents, and dragons from the depths of the lake. In our most epic troll story to date, he was challenged to a fishing competition which nearly ended the world as he began yanking the Midgard Serpent out of the lake. Luckily his opponent backed down, so he unhooked his catch, forestalling the apocalypse.

We’ve been back for a week now, and the kids are just as excited as ever to hear new troll stories. Indeed, I have never seen Maggie so enthralled by storytelling. Her eyes grow wide with each new chapter, and she jumps in eagerly to provide key details or to correct me when I get something wrong. She also suggests story topics, especially when I’m tired and feeling less creative. Tonight, for example, I paused at the beginning of the story, trying to cobble something together in my head. Maggie jumped in, saying, “Daddy… maybe Mrs. Troll has trouble sleeping!”

“Ah yes, of course she does,” I replied, and so the tale of Mrs. Troll’s unusual mattress requirements was born.

Popsicle Stick Armageddon

Conversation between Griffin and Maggie, overheard just now from the front stoop:

“Maggie, pick up your popsicle stick and put it in the garbage!”

“Why?”

“Because if you leave it on the sidewalk it’s pollution.”

“What’s pollution again?”

“Pollution is when you hurt the Earth and soon all the air will go up into space.”

“Really?”

“Yes. All the air will disappear! You want air to breathe don’t you?”

<Thinking.> “But maybe I will float up to space with the air, and I want to go up to space!”

Body Bubble

Overheard today as Maggie had a friend over:

“There’s a bubble in your body that holds your pee and if it pops, you die. So I make sure to take care of my body by going pee on the potty so it doesn’t pop. I do that so I’m still alive. You don’t want it to pop!”

So part of me wants to assure her that her bladder will not pop, but the part of me that’s winning currently is the part that is enjoying the fact that we have not had ONE FIGHT today about the bathroom, as well as the fact that I haven’t had to help her change out of any wet undies.

Rules

Maggie: I’m just too tired to put my puzzles away….Can I help with making pancakes?
Daddy: If you’re too tired for puzzles, you’re too tired for helping with pancakes.
Maggie: But I’m just so so so tired for puzzles, Daddy.
Daddy: If you’re too tired to put your things away, you’re too tired to help me.
Maggie: But see, I have different rules than you guys do!

What our Children Know About Us

We recently came across these interview questions on Facebook. Seemed like a fun thing to do. We first three interviews in January, but Maggie wasn’t interested in answering the daddy questions back then. She grudgingly agreed to give it a go during spring break, on March 23.

Mama
Daddy
Griffin Maggie Griffin Maggie
What is something I always say to you? Stop. Clean up. When I say, “Do you want to play a game,” you say, “Yeah, sure.” I don’t know.
What makes me happy?
When I do stuff for you. Clean up. When I play with you. Saying, “Please can you play with me?”
What makes me sad? When I mess up the house. When I accidentally break something. When I mess up the house. When me and Griffin do bad things. Like break glass.
How do I make you laugh? By tickling me! We sing silly things! By tickling me! By saying funny things.
What was I like as a child? Mischief! I don’t know! You didn’t have a CD player. Shrug.
How old am I? 39 I don’t know. 44 I forgot. Twenty? No. Not twenty. Twenty-four? No. Are you twenty-four?
How tall am I? I don’t know! REALLY tall! I didn’t measure you. I’m guessing it might be like four feet, maybe, no… five feet. Super tall!
What is my favorite thing to do? Play with me! Watch TV! Play with me. Play!
What do I do when you’re not around?
Go to the store.
Work.
Go to school.
Do computer work.
What am I really good at? Typing on the computer. Clean up with me.
Making pannakukken.
Shrug.
What is something I’m not good at? Going under your bed.
Not cleaning up.
Reading Chinese.
I don’t know.
What do I do for a job? Take care of Maggie. Something. Go to work.
To clean up dinner. To clean up the dishes.
What is my favorite food?
Cheese kabook… what is that thing? You know that thing that Grandma and Grandpa make with cheese or apples? [Strudel] I don’t know! Pannakukken. Sausage! Or raspberries.
What do you enjoy doing with me? Playing Mille Bornes! Playing! Playing Rat-A-Tat-Cat. Play! Frozen spot-it.

Future Career in Medicine

We have an old twin-sized futon—the ultra-basic variety with the unfinished pine base that folds, awkwardly, into a chair. Though it has been useful over the years, it doesn’t get a lot of love. In return, it has become increasingly lumpy and shabby looking. Sarah and I generally ignore it, keeping it around for rare times when we are brimming with house guests. The kids, however, see it as a multi-purpose device: trampoline, hurdle, and the floor, wall, or roof for their many ephemeral fort designs.

Said futon recently sprung a leak, spewing forth tiny bits of foam (the foam core is surrounded by a nimbus of smaller chunks, ergo the lumpiness). Sarah applied a duct tape bandage, but the kids regularly defeat this measure with a single good leap.

This morning, Sarah and I found the futon blocking the basement hallway with a spray of foam guts on the carpet. We asked the kids to clean up the mess, and reminded them that the poor futon is off limits until we come up with a hardier solution. Some time later, I returned to the basement and found that Griffin had filled an entire trash can with foam bits, vastly more than what we had seen on the carpet before. With sinking heart, I inquired as to what was going on. Griffin proudly said that he was making sure that no more would leak out again, at which point he reached into the growing wound and extracted another armload of foam.

As I groaned at the plight of the poor, eviscerated futon, Maggie squealed, “More, Griffin, MORE!”

Doctor of Internal Medicine
Doctor of Internal Medicine

Focus

It was almost bedtime last night and I urged Maggie to get out of the stroller so we could go inside. Unbeknownst to me, she was engaged in some sort of important task (zipping something, unzipping something, fixing a wrinkled sock, etc.) Maggie’s exasperated response:

“Daddy, you unfocused me!”