After a week of sub-zero temperatures, we enjoyed a weekend of balmy weather — highs in the 30s on Saturday, and in the high 40s today! Real spring is still a long way off, but today was our first hint of what’s to come. It was a perfect afternoon for snowballs and puddle stomping.
Some of Griffin’s latest words (in no particular order)
Moon. Griffin LOVES the moon. He looks for it every time he goes outside, and he often finds it. He even found it trying to shine through the snowy sky last night as we were taking a walk, and the look on his face when I saw it, too, was priceless.
Tar. Actually “star.†We have a wooden star that we took out for the holidays that he loves seeing lit up, and now he’s pointing out stars at night, too.
Bay. Translated into “play.†As in, “Don’t be changing my diaper right now, it’s time to BAY!â€
Reeeeee! READ! We do so very much reading. It’s one of Griffin’s favorite activities.
Bup-eee. Puppy. One of Griffin’s favorite stuffed animals right now is a giant one-eared yellow lab who used to be in my classroom. I brought the dog home to pillage him for stuffing sewing projects (cruel, I know), and Griffin found him and fell in love with him. So he’s a little skinny and has a missing ear, and that makes Griffin’s love for him all the more adorable. Lately, Puppy has wanted to wear a diaper (Griffin hands Puppy to me and signs ‘change diaper’) and go pee-pee on Griffin’s potty. I’m hoping Puppy will teach Griffin to go pee-pee on the potty so I don’t have to.
Ball. Oh my goodness, Griffin can spot a ball from a mile away.
Ahh-wer. Water. Used to be ahh-wah, which sure did sound like ‘agua.’ Not sure where he’s picking up the Spanish, but I’ll take it.
Cookie. Of course, he had this one down after the first cookie he ever ate. Go figure.
Bye-bye!
Un-two-fee-four. Counting! He’s a genius! Nah, but it is cool that he’s getting the hang of it, and every once in a while he’ll have two things and he excitedly say, “Twoooooo!â€
Eh-bow. Elbow. He likes pointing out body parts and elbow stuck for some reason.
Paare, Ap-pul, Nana. Pear, apple, banana, three of his favorite fruits.
Irk-le. Circle. To our surprise, he can identify a circle, square, oval, rectangle, star, crescent (moon), and triangle! It must be all of the reeeeeeeee-ing we do!
His language and communication is developing rapidly and it’s so cool to see the expression on his face when we acknowledge we understand what he’s saying. He’s also trying to use that communication to figure out the world. He likes to point out body parts and show that each of us has them. For example, he’ll point to his ears and then say “Mama†and point to my ears. The other day, we were taking a bath together and he pointed at my breast. I said, “Those are Mama’s breasts. They used to make milk for you when you were a baby. But the milk is all gone!†He seemed to think about it, signed ‘milk all gone.’ Later when we were downstairs in the kitchen, he pointed at my breast again (I was fully clothed this time, just to be clear) and said “Mama!†and signed ‘milk all gone.’ I said, “Yes! Mama’s milk is all gone!†Then he pointed at the refrigerator and signed ‘milk.’ I said, “Yes. There’s milk in the refrigerator.†Then he pointed to the refrigerator and signed ‘milk all gone’ with a questioning look on his face. And I said, “Nope! The milk in the refrigerator is still there!†At which point he looked rather relieved. Then just to be sure, he said, “Ba-ba bye-bye?†(we made him give up bottles cold turkey over a week ago), and I said, “Yes, ba-bas are bye-bye, but you can still have milk in a cup!†More relief.
This kiddo is getting more and more fun with each passing day!
Even before Griffin was born, I was disgusted with how horribly gendered all of the baby clothing out there is. Trucks for boys and butterflies for girls; blues, greens, and browns for boys, while girls have every color of the rainbow. I tried pretty hard to put him in gender neutral clothing from the beginning (which mainly consisted of stripes) but as he has gotten older, it’s getting harder to do. It seems like anything interesting looking (and not bloody expensive) is either made for boys or girls, not both.
It’s not that I don’t want Griffin to be a boy, whatever that means at this age. It’s just that I hate how important it is. He’s already going to be getting plenty of messages from others (and maybe subconsciously from Andrew and me) about what boys and girls are supposed to do and say. I want him to like what he likes for as long as possible before he’s aware of the “supposed to-s†and they inevitably influence his thoughts.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently because of four pairs of pants I bought for Griffin from the girls’ section. First off, since he’s a cloth diaper wearing kid, he needs at least a size up to fit his gianormous butt, and secondly, many boys’ pants are made of really stiff material (corduroy, jean, etc) which aren’t very generous with the diapers or freedom of movement. Many girls’ pants are made of stretchy cotton, which is perfect for his butt and doesn’t necessitate buying too-big pants, plus it accommodates his desire to run around as fast as possible. How perfect, right? Wrong. Girls’ pants are…well…girly. Actually, I would consider them way more FUN than boys’ pants, but if I were being honest, most people, including me, would look at them and think “girl.â€
So living up to my standards for myself, I bought two pairs of rainbow striped pants, one green with multi-colored polka dots, and one brown with multicolored cutesy forest animals. They’re super fun and bright, and I think they’re great. They have been part of his rotation of pants for a while now, and I’ve been surprised how much of an indicator they are for gender. Most people refer to him as a girl when he wears them and then get embarrassed when I reply with the pronoun “he.†I try to make it clear that I don’t care if they think he’s a boy or girl, but one woman even went so far as to say, “Oh, of course he’s a boy! Now that I’m really looking, I can see that masculinity in his face!â€
Most surprising has been the development of Griffin’s preferences as he solidly stands in toddlerhood. Andrew or I will dress him in some other pants, and if he catches sight of any of the four pants from the girls’ section, he gets incredibly excited and signs wildly to help put them on. He smiles big as we change him into his preferred pants and giddily prances around the house. I love to see him happy in his ability to choose and am delighted that he finds pleasure in such bright colors and patterns.
But this is a blog post because I feel like what I’m doing in buying girl pants for him is a statement. I suppose it might also be so if I put a girl in cargo pants and truck t-shirts, but somehow that doesn’t seem equivalent. I was actually prepared to have a girl to whom I would tell, “You can do anything, wear anything, be anything! You have the whole world at your feet! Pink or punk, whatever you want!â€; give her a childhood much like my own where I was encouraged to build and fix things, play sports, cook, bake, and play with whatever interested me. While the pinks and princesses are certainly overwhelmingly popular with girl marketing, it seems more mainstream if a girl isn’t wearing pink or has trucks or prefers dinosaurs over dollies. I wasn’t ready for the fact that while I certainly would be supportive of my son wearing fairy wings in public, much of the people around me would not be.
As I read and hear about other parental struggles, I’m coming across many more parents distressed about their boys being teased and ridiculed about “girl†things than the other way around. It makes me wonder what is going on here: What is it exactly that people are afraid of? If I’m not concerned about my son wearing girl pants, why should you be? But here is where I get tripped up in my own thinking as I take it one step further: Would I put Griffin in a dress? Would I put clips in his hair? Would I buy a sparkly princess shirt for him?
The answer to all of these questions would be an emphatic YES if he wanted them (and frankly, it would be that way with a girl, too). But my intention is not to use my son as a way to make a statement; I just want him to be who he is. By giving him the choice to wear rainbow pants and play with magic wands, I feel like I’m saying, “You can do anything, wear anything, be anything! You have the whole world at your feet! Pink or punk, I love you for who you are.â€
Being the full-time parent of a toddler has its ups and downs. Lately, it’s been a battle of the wills for me and Griffin. I usually win, but my sense of humor flies out the window as a result (so is it really winning?). I’ve learned that patience is generally a prerequisite to maintaining my sense of humor, and the Battle of the Wills drains my fairly large supply of patience rapidly. Take, for instance, yesterday in the late afternoon: after a day filled with temper tantrums and plans gone slightly awry, I logically knew it was funny when Griffin pulled my pants down and gave me a raspberry on the butt while I was bending over to wipe up the juice he deliberately spilled on the floor. But in the moment, all I could think was “Andrew, please come home soon, or so help me, I am going to throw this kid through the window.” Toddler parenting seems to be the ultimate test of whether you can go with the flow. I find my most successful days are ones where I’m not married to my ideas of what should or shouldn’t happen and I pay close attention to Griffin’s hunger, energy, and mood; my least successful are when I have a rigid agenda despite Griffin’s mood or think Griffin is going to love doing x. y, or z, but instead has absolutely no interest what-so-ever.
So this morning was a success as the stars aligned to allow for an impromptu project with my kiddo. After Andrew left for work, I noticed that the back door in our kitchen has a good one-to-two inch gap with the floor and is a huge heat-loss problem. I decided it was time to make a draft snake! I had several old sweaters just waiting for projects, as well as a buckwheat-filled bed pillow that proved to be not as comfortable as I was hoping, so I had the supplies. Griffin was fascinated watching the rotary cutter (from afar, of course), and under careful supervision, he actually really enjoyed sticking pins into the sweater material while I pinned the seams. He became my helper at the sewing machine, putting the pins back in the box as I pulled them out. The best part of the whole project was making him in charge of filling the snake with buckwheat hulls. I let go of any anxiety with making a mess (that’s what vacuum cleaners are for, right?), and just let him have fun. The end result was practical (no more leaky door!) and fun for both of us. And now every time he walks by the door, Griffin says, “sssssss!” and gives the snake a hug.
This weekend was our first snow of the season, and it was quite a storm! Â It dumped about eight inches of heavy, wet snow on our neighborhood. Â On Saturday morning, we went out with Griffin for some snow time. Â It was his first time all bundled up in his snow suit, which was awkward, and it was his first time getting cold snow blown into his face by a fierce wind. Â Not surprisingly, he wasn’t very happy. Â But we did manage to build a messy snowman. Â On Sunday, we tried again. Â Without the wind, Griffin was much more excited, though he was still hesitant to walk through the snow (he kept falling down — not used to lifting his feet so high). Â But he was very brave, and we spent nearly two hours exploring the snowy landscape at our nearby park. Â (He even hurtled down one of the slides head-first, ending up with a face full of snow, and laughed the whole time!) Â Another kid offered to share his sled, but we weren’t quite ready for that. Â When we got home, I introduced him to one of the very best things about winter: a warm mug of hot chocolate!
First snowman (there were precious few props available at this park.)
The weather here has been unseasonably warm, so Griffin and I have been trying to spend as much time outside as possible. I don’t anticipate we’ll hunker down and never go outside again once it starts getting colder, but when it’s cold, you don’t always have the luxury of being leisurely. Today, I thought there was no better place to luxuriate in leisure than the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden, located next to the Walker Art Center in downtown Minneapolis. It’s only about a ten or fifteen minute drive from our place in St. Paul, and to my knowledge, Griffin had never been exposed to gigantic pieces of art, so I was curious to see what he would think.
Of course, he loved it. I’ll have to wait until he can talk so that he can give me his critiques of the pieces, but judging by his giddiness and excitement, I think it’s going to be a favorite destination. And it’s a good thing we went when we did. As soon as we hopped in the car to go home, a storm swept in and dropped the temperature by about thirty degrees!
Our lives have been full lately, which is why we’re averaging only about one blog post a month! Things certainly have been going on, but we just haven’t been writing or putting up the pictures. Today I did a little catch up on the photo site and put together some photos from various things that have been happening this fall (even though it seems like we forget the camera more often than we remember it!). Some were big, some were little. But all point to the fact that we’re settling into our new lives here in Minnesota.
Click on any photo to take you to the full gallery.
This is not about baby showers.
Taking showers with Griffin was one of the earliest ways that he and I bonded, and remains one of my favorite ways to hang out with him while getting something useful done at the same time. Â I’ve been meaning to write this post for more than a year, since I figure other new parents might want to try this too.
I remember being afraid of showers when I was a little kid. Â Baths were the norm, and showers were scary grown-up things. Â I don’t remember when that shifted, but I was definitely still mostly taking baths in elementary school. Â When Griffin was born I assumed that this fear was hard-wired, and that was why everyone only talked about giving babies baths. Â But Griffin hated baths. Â We had the mini tub for him, but it was hard to keep the temperature constant with so little water (and our house was often cold in Oakland). Â When I was in charge of a solo bath it usually end with Griffin crying, my knees hurting, and both of us wet and cold. Â Bleh.
One day in the blurry early weeks of no-sleep, Â I was up early with Griffin and he was having a hard time — teething, indigestion, grumpiness, who knows. He was loudly voicing his discontent with the world. Â I was tired of walking around the apartment trying to calm him down, and I felt gross, so I brought him into the shower. Â I felt a bit edgy, like, “I wonder if I should check one of the baby books before I do this?” Â As usual, I didn’t check the book and decided to experiment. Â As soon as Griffin was enveloped in the steam, he stopped crying. Â He snuggled up against my shoulder and just lay there quietly. Â I let the water splash on him and run down his back. Â He seemed happy! Â After a while he reached out and tried to grab the spray. Â He giggled. Â I giggled. Â Our morning was transformed.
That first time neither of us got much of a wash. Â I didn’t want to drop him or get soap in his eyes or otherwise ruin the moment. Â Pretty soon, however, he and I were taking showers all the time. Â In the morning, I would scoop him up and take him in with me. Â Often he was happy playing at the back of the tub while I washed. Â If I was done with the soap, I would let the tub fill up a bit so he could splash around. Â I could get out and get dressed while he continued playing.
Nowadays, Griffin enjoys real baths too, and we have a bigger tub here so sometimes I join him. Â But he and I still take showers together regularly. Â I even have a steam-free shower-mirror so that I can shave while he’s playing (he likes watching the shaving cream slide down the drain). Â After I’m done, I always pick him up for some snuggle time and we both laugh together as he tries to catch the water and causes it to spray all over. Â These happy moments go a long way toward preserving my sanity in the face of toddler moods.
Griffin has been into dancing to whatever music comes on the radio these days. Even the short musical interludes on NPR get a little hip jiggle from him. Today, he was really into the classical station but not so sure he wanted me watching!
This was Griffin’s first appointment in Minnesota. Â We loved our new doctor. Â Below are his current physical measurements with percentiles. Â (By the way, we don’t take these very seriously, but figure we might as well record them.)
Where did this tall, skinny boy come from?