This is not about baby showers.

Taking showers with Griffin was one of the earliest ways that he and I bonded, and remains one of my favorite ways to hang out with him while getting something useful done at the same time.  I’ve been meaning to write this post for more than a year, since I figure other new parents might want to try this too.

I remember being afraid of showers when I was a little kid.  Baths were the norm, and showers were scary grown-up things.  I don’t remember when that shifted, but I was definitely still mostly taking baths in elementary school.  When Griffin was born I assumed that this fear was hard-wired, and that was why everyone only talked about giving babies baths.  But Griffin hated baths.  We had the mini tub for him, but it was hard to keep the temperature constant with so little water (and our house was often cold in Oakland).   When I was in charge of a solo bath it usually end with Griffin crying, my knees hurting, and both of us wet and cold.  Bleh.

One day in the blurry early weeks of no-sleep,  I was up early with Griffin and he was having a hard time — teething, indigestion, grumpiness, who knows. He was loudly voicing his discontent with the world.  I was tired of walking around the apartment trying to calm him down, and I felt gross, so I brought him into the shower.   I felt a bit edgy, like, “I wonder if I should check one of the baby books before I do this?”  As usual, I didn’t check the book and decided to experiment.  As soon as Griffin was enveloped in the steam, he stopped crying.  He snuggled up against my shoulder and just lay there quietly.  I let the water splash on him and run down his back.  He seemed happy!  After a while he reached out and tried to grab the spray.  He giggled.  I giggled.  Our morning was transformed.

That first time neither of us got much of a wash.  I didn’t want to drop him or get soap in his eyes or otherwise ruin the moment.  Pretty soon, however, he and I were taking showers all the time.  In the morning, I would scoop him up and take him in with me.  Often he was happy playing at the back of the tub while I washed.  If I was done with the soap, I would let the tub fill up a bit so he could splash around.  I could get out and get dressed while he continued playing.

Nowadays, Griffin enjoys real baths too, and we have a bigger tub here so sometimes I join him.  But he and I still take showers together regularly.  I even have a steam-free shower-mirror so that I can shave while he’s playing (he likes watching the shaving cream slide down the drain).  After I’m done, I always pick him up for some snuggle time and we both laugh together as he tries to catch the water and causes it to spray all over.  These happy moments go a long way toward preserving my sanity in the face of toddler moods.